February 8, 2017 by thebolinbunch
Happy Wednesday! My heart has really taken a beating the last few days and I’ll be honest, I am sad. My mother in law fell and fractured her tibia and fibula and our new foster boy went to a family member’s house to stay . I never knew how quickly you could get attached to loving another little kid. I keep reminding myself that Chris and I were a stepping stone for him and were able to provide for him when he had no where to go. I will always pray for him daily and because of foster care, maybe I am the only one that will pray for him throughout his life. I have a picture taped into my prayer journal and will always remember him. My mother in law goes to an orthopedic specialist today, so I’m asking all of you to remember her in your prayers also! All of this has taken place since Monday, so it’s been a crazy, emotional week!
Today I am linking up with Shay and Erika for a fun Workin’ It Wednesday post. Today’s topic is how your work at keeping your marriage strong. Here are all the other fun topics if you want to link up with us next time:
I feel like I could write a book about all the different ways Chris and I work on our marriage. No matter how good of a marriage you have, it takes A LOT of work to keep it strong.
Chris and I have been married for almost 13 years and together for almost 17 years~ he is truly my best friend. We are both school teachers and work in the EXACT same building and have the EXACT same schedule and time off. Some might see this as a horrible thing, but I absolutely love it! Sure, there are days where he gets on my nerves because I see him at work and home, but we have learned when to give each other space and how to separate work from home. Overall, it works great and I’m so blessed we get all of this time together.
For this post, I am sharing with you the top 9 rules that I use when it comes to working on keeping our marriage strong~ I hope it encourages you!
- Keep God at the center of your marriage. Pray together, worship together, read the Bible together. Period.
- Spend more time trying to fix you than your spouse! This is a BIG deal! Quit trying to make your spouse someone they are not and just love them for who they are. Worry about making yourself a better person and in return that will make others around you better.
- Love is serving one another. God put us on this planet to serve others, and yes, this includes our spouse. I try to go above and beyond to serve and help Chris. This includes all the “wifely” duties, but it also includes the extra things like helping him with his hunting stuff, writing him little notes to make him smile, making his favorite dessert when he’s had a rough day, etc.
- Laugh often together! Chris usually keeps me laughing daily. I truly believe laughter is the best medicine. Even in some of our toughest times, Chris has been able to find ways to make me laugh and smile.
- Be patient. Love crumbles quickly when you are stressed and impatient.
- The Bible says, “Do not let the sun go down while you are angry.” Make it a habit to forgive.
- Determine upfront that divorce is not an option. We married young (19 and 20) and knew in our heads that no matter what life threw at us, we would stay together. Marriage is a covenant and should not be broken.
- Learn about love languages. Not all people show love or receive it the same way. You want a clean kitchen and your spouse wants a back rub. The love languages are fairly simple: acts of service, time, physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation. Learn them. Love is better received when it’s in the language that person speaks. Chris’ love language is my time. He loves for me to sit beside him with no distractions~ no kids, no cell phone, no book, nothing.
- Build your man up! Words of affirmation really help boost their confidence. Don’t criticize every little thing.
Along with all of these rules, we keep our marriage strong by taking time out of our busy schedules and have date nights. We try to have date nights twice a month, but sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way. However, we make it a priority to have at least 1 night a month away from the kids where we can focus on us a couple without being mommy/daddy or teacher(s).
I’m so thankful I am able to do life with Christopher James!
Have a great rest of the week, friends!